The feelings

Since I'm an Astrologer I know what I need to do this coming year because I know what energies are helping me.   That's why I learned Astrology... for me.  I love to share my knowledge with others but my Inattentive ADHD  makes it so hard.   Adderal has been suggested to me, and I've been holding out on it.   Although I would love to see how I would be with a different brain.    I'm sure it would help a lot but lately I've been thinking what I have is my gift in a way too.   I know how to stop and smell the flowers.   

I wish I had known this when I was younger though because my life would of been completely different.   No, I'm not stupid, my brain just works different.    I'm different.    It makes me act different especially being an Aquarius with 4 planets there.   I'm quick, I can be erratic at my worst. I ramble.   For years I masked it or tried to and after years of therapy I learned that was the wrong thing to do.    

I only started going to therapy 3 years ago after I noticed I kept repeating certain patterns that I was obviously struggling with.    What will happen in therapy is that you will die and each time you go the real you reveal itself.   I look at the world and people different now.    I accept my faults and don't claim to be perfect.    I'm loud sometimes, very passionate and I'm weird.   How can someone so weird be so insecure?  I heard that in a podcast last week and I was like... fuck.  Weird is what creates..  being different.   

I bring who I am to the table now and even though it hurts when people come and go, I Namaste it.   Who is right stays because I know I'm being guided.  I didn't know before. I know now.   I don't want any limitations put on me again by anyone.   I'm open to receiving opinions but I am not obligated to believe them.   I'm going to stay true to myself and that little girl on that boat.. There is another picture of my cousin in that boat and me having a fit about it.   It's not nice to be selfish either lol