Ms. E

The paperwork I submitted to the Board of Education has my legal name as it appears with Social Security, but my maiden name starts with E. Around this time last year, I made a big decision. I was tired of working in finance, accounting, bookkeeping… numbers. That should never have been the career I chose at 18. I went into Accounting but never pursued it beyond my associate degree. It was an easy job for a neurodivergent person on the spectrum like me. Without getting into details, I decided I needed a change. While on the phone with a friend who is a teacher, she said, “Michelle, be a substitute because we need one at my school.” There’s a huge need for substitutes in Newark, and with it being so hard to hire teachers, substitutes are even rarer. It took forever to get hired, but thank God for friends who believe in me. I got in, but the rest was up to me. I have no teaching experience, none at all. Since May, I’ve been doing it, and every class teaches me something new and I love that for me!

Teachers are amazing! I see them in action almost every day, and I think they deserve far more than they get. It’s a tough job. I’ve been doing it for a while now, and I can honestly say I love it, even though it can be so hard at times. Do I want to be a teacher? I wish I could, but I’m frustrated with how they’re treated by the system. I’m not sure how I’d keep my mouth shut and not get fired. I need to go back to school and get my bachelor’s degree. I never finished mine in Accounting because I landed a really good job in the city about two years after school, after working a dead-end job in Parsippany, NJ as a Cash Receipts Clerk. In NYC, I was able to jump into jobs that paid me well, it was pre-9/11, and the city was deep in its tech bubble. If they had never knocked down those towers, we could have given San Francisco a run for their money. I was at a startup that kept beer in the fridge, took us out for team dinners every month, and it was fine to show up late for work. Once you start making money, you stop caring about a stupid. I don’t regret it. Doing it now, at my ripe age of 50, actually feels perfect because I understand how my brain works and know I’ll do better in school. I haven’t decided to go back yet, though.

I met a teacher who suggested I spend a year substituting before deciding to go into teaching. I’m taking Lily’s advice because she has experience I don’t. Now I’m substituting at the school I attended as a kid, and I love being there. I enjoyed school back then because I had friends, we had fun, and it was an escape from the emotional chaos at home. When I teach, I sometimes step into the role as the kid I once was in that grade, and I fail a lot, but I learn afterward. They integrate kids with special needs into regular classes, and while I understand the intention, it’s hard to manage and feels unfair because everyone loses out. I’m a bit disillusioned with the education system right now, especially in how it treats low-income districts. The discrimination is horrible. I want to speak up about it so badly, but I’m sticking to my plan to finish the year before crashing out.